quality over everything

small nugs #05

My boss often talks to me about the importance of maintaining a high quality product. The brand’s reputation will get a customer to buy it once. But it’s the quality that will get the customer to buy it again. 

One day while he was in the middle of giving me one of his speeches about loyalty or conspiracy theories or maintaining trust and respect in a marriage, he got interrupted when he noticed something terrible happening on one of the security camera monitors.

Some plants were being mishandled by a few employees in a grow room and my boss absolutely lost it. I had seen him raise his voice before, but not like this. Red-in-the face, he called one of the guys on the phone. On the security monitor, I could see the dread setting in on the other side of the call. I got secondhand embarrassment watching these men absorb the dad-lecture coming from my boss. 

“What the fuck is going on over there?! What do you mean you didn’t do anything? I can see you! I’m looking at you right now! I did not EVER teach you to lay a plant down like that. Oh, you’re telling me I didn’t set you up with enough drying racks? Okay, then you talk to me and I’ll get you some more racks! But what we’re not gonna do is disrespect the plant like that! You know better than that! Because what do we always say, huh? What do we say? We say, ‘Quality Over Everything.’ It’s quality above all else. If you forget again I’ll come over there and remind you.”

After my boss hung up his phone, I watched the young men shamefully correct their mistakes and reorient themselves. Meanwhile, my boss continued venting to me about how he used to do the whole process alone. 

He used to grow, manufacture and distribute his product all by himself. He knows what it takes. He knows how to meet the standard. He knows how to exceed expectations. But one guy can’t scale a small business up and up and up all by himself. He has to delegate. He has no choice. He has to rely on other people. And when those people drape the plants over a table rather than hanging them on a proper drying rack… he’s gotta yell and remind them about the importance of maintaining the quality.

He’s always calculating the exact amount of money in his head that he spends to produce the product so he knows the exact amount of money that he’s losing if product gets damaged or stolen. And these are the speeches I latch onto. This is the gospel I need to hear!

Whether he’s aware of it or not, he’s hitting me with a harsh lesson that so many people from my past have tried to make stick. (Sorry, people from my past! I’m trying! I’m learning!)

After years of feeling through the dark when it comes to my writing career/vocation, I’m ready to cut the bullshit and turn on all the lights.

In the coming year, I would like to solidify a repeatable process for all my writing assignments (I mean, we’ll do what we can over here!). I would like to prepare to scale my business gradually and sustainably. And most importantly, I’ll give myself whatever I need to manage the process properly. For example, if for some reason I need drying racks, but I don’t have enough, I’ll go to the guy with the damn drying racks and get some more!

The big thing I’m coming to terms with is that I am actually my own boss now. I never consciously chose that, by the way. Because the path to get to this point has been so squiggly. 

It went like this:
Showrunner’s Assistant, Writers’ Assistant, Staff Writer, Writers’ Assistant again, Staff Writer, Storyeditor, Staff Writer, Weed Sales Coordinator??? LinkedIn Influencer??? Substack Content Creator??? 

And through all of it, unfortunately, I think I was leading with the messiest version of myself. 

And by the way, I like her! I’m not mad at her and her mess! She’s decent at writing! But oh my goodness, she cries a hundred times a day. And she’s always working through some kind of 
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ trauma ♥ 

And she’s afraid to reach out and talk to the very people who might help her grow. So she writes and she writes and she writes in a silo. 

Half-baked scripts! Disorganized chunks of could-be essays! Lists of character bit ideas that she wants to see other people do for some reason?!  

I can’t work like this anymore. I love her to pieces, but she’s making me sick. It’s exhausting, you guys! She hasn’t been a very good boss!

So it is time for messy girl to step back from her leadership role and focus more on being a smart and beautiful writer. For all of the boss stuff, I -- the Weed Sales Coordinator -- will take over from here. I’ll make sure she keeps her shit together. 

Because, like what the fuck is going on over there?! You know what I mean? Like, I know what it takes! I know how much it costs when she wastes my time! If she’s cutting corners and avoiding responsibilities, that’s money out of my pocket! What we’re not gonna do is disrespect the product like that! It’s about quality. Quality above all else!

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Hey Everyone - Thank you all for reading “small nugs,” the first mini blog on this Substack!! I’m taking a break before returning with the next one.

OKAY NOW IT IS TIME TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:

I would like to thank Neha Bhasin for saying, “you should write a newsletter” and for periodically stepping in as my official/unofficial career coach.

I would also like to thank Maggie Carroll, Veena Rangaswami, Richard McLaughlin, Molly Carroll, Jessica Cabot, Beth Parker, Becca Marcus, Samia Ahmed, Ariel Karlin, Jen O’Donnell, Andy C. Rider, Mychelle Farmer, Teresa Joiner, Ryan Rosenberg, Jen Cantin, Valerie Bishop Pearson, Brynna Campbell, Lucé Tomlin-Brenner, Chris Osmundson, Rob Michael Hugel, and Elyse Brandau! You know what you did!

Subscribe to these newsletters if you haven’t already, they have helped me learn!

Queen Veen by Veena Rangaswami

EmmaTV+ by Emma Soren

Sternal Journal by Julian Stern

Amber Petty’s Newsletter by Amber Petty

Mother of a Dilemma by Valerie Bishop Pearson

Also after my first post, Andy C. Rider linked me to this Neal Brennan interview about self-doubt. Neal’s perspective is helping me navigate this chapter of my life, so I’m thinking that maybe it could help others in this email club too. Thank you, Andy!

I would like to thank Veena Rangaswami again for all of the support leading up to my first Substack post. Her excellent advice and encouragement kept me motivated and excited about the process. 

Shout out to my Aunt Teresa! (Wendy Williams voice) How you doin’! Thank you for encouraging me to keep writing and hustling!

Shout out to both of my parents, Mychelle Farmer & James DeGraffenreidt! Thanks for all of your love and support my whole life, especially now during my fifth or sixth awkward phase. 

Shout out to my husband, Rich! This year has been wild for us. Thank you for all of your funny improvised songs and for always helping me remember how to breathe. I love you!

Shout out to everyone I met in legal cannabis for inviting me in to develop new skills, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow and mature as a person.

I would also like to give a shoutout to Andres Gutierrez, a legendary friend gone too soon. I carry your memory with me wherever I go, especially at this legal weed spot that I’ve been writing about lately.

I would also like to give a shoutout to Kimarlee Nguyen, another legendary friend whose memory I keep with me in my heart. You gave us so much. Thank you.

And of course, shout out to all the subscribers for hanging out and watching me try something new! I appreciate you for checking in. Let’s keep in touch and have some fun in the new year! Happy winter holidays, everyone! <3